Sunday, July 15, 2012

PPD and how to deal...

After I had Emma I had one episode of Postpartum Depression. It was after being on some crazy medication to increase my milk supply. It was scary and weird. I have however experienced PPD in its minor state ever since Mila was born. Its hard to explain the way you feel but the closest I can get is to compare it to one of those gas station car washes. All of this crazy stuff is going on around you and you are in the inside completely aware that everything is crazy but you cant do anything about it. Does that make sense? I know that I am being irrational when I all of a sudden start crying because I cant get the lid off of Emma's sippy cup, or when I suddenly get the urge to throw poor Brenton out the window because he asked if he can have mustard instead of mayonnaise on his sandwich. PPD effects loads of women in many different ways. In my case, I just have a big case of the ups and downs. To be honest it just feels like I'm pregnant or experiencing really bad PMS.

Now that we have the car wash analogy in our minds, how do we "deal" with all that craziness? Well, I'm gonna be honest... it may sound cheesy but the first step is to admit you have a problem. Not only will it bring the whole thing into the light, it might also be a big sigh of relief for your hubby knowing that your constant frustration with him might not 100% be his fault. I take it one day at a time and constantly check myself by asking these questions.

"Am I upset?"
"Why am I upset?"
"Is it THAT big of a deal?"
"Can I fix it?"
"Do I need chocolate?"

The chocolate is just a personal preference and possibly the reason for the last 5 lbs of baby weight that magically keeps coming back. PPD is all about knowing what is going on around you and keeping yourself in check. Its not hard but eventually things will get easier. 

These tips aren't for everyone. PPD comes in many different forms and if you are unsure about yourself and feel that you are at risk of harming yourself or others please consider medical help.

The main tip I can give you and that I constantly tell myself is that I am an amazing mommy, I love my children and I would do anything for them and that MUST include taking care of myself.

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